Happy Birthday Jessica !

I am a member of a Yahoo Community called LOOK. I believe that it stands for LOSS of our kids. There are mostly women on this Yahoo community who share about their grief. If you have never lost a child to cancer or some childhood disease that takes them from you in this world then you will never be able to relate to the pain and anguish that this causes in the lives of those parents that are left behind. I read a message on our Yahoo Community this morning when I woke up and this was my response as I attempted to relate to this mothers grief.
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Tears are a language that only God understands. Everyone handles grief in their own unique and individual way. Yes, I would say that you are making progress. I know that I have made some progress over the last two years with regards to how I react when I think about Jessica.
Maybe it is different for men than it is for women. I believe that a
Fathers love is a bit different than a mothers love. Perhaps it is much
harder for a mother to deal with grief especially considering the close
bond that a mother has with a child that a father may never fully
understand. It is difficult for me to be able to relate to a mothers
grief since I am not a mom. I do know that as I have watched Katy deal with the grief that she has made some progress. It seems as if the stressors that cause Katy to cry with regards to Jessica are much
stronger and I think that is directly related to the fact that Katy was
Jessica's immediate care giver and she spent much more time interacting with Jessica both when she was a healthy child as well as during her illness. The more you bond with a person the closer and more intimate you become and therefore the grief you experience is probably more intense. I guess that one of the ways that I try to handle my grief and the emotional responses to it is to try and not focus on those things that would make me cry. At church we have a young lady that is in a wheel chair. If I sit there and focus on it I can easily see Jessica sitting there and before long I would be deep in the pits of grief and despair. So, instead of going down that road I choose to recognize the pain that is there and I try not to focus on it for too long. I guess that helps me to manage my emotions. My pastors wife went out to eat lunch with us the other day when we were at her house setting up a DSL network and she was sharing about this young lady that is a special needs child. I thought she was going to make me cry so I had to change the subject.

I believe that as time goes on that the grief will not be as intense.
It does not mean that we love our children less. I think about Jessica
every day of my life. She will always be daddy's little girl. I tell
Jesus to hug my girl every day when I pray. I thank God for her life
and for all the good memories of her life. It is good that we have this
place in our lives where we can think out loud and share our thoughts
with others that are walking down the road of grief with us. Today the
citizens of the USA are remembering the horrible events of Sept 11,
2001. Katy and I remember 9/11/01 for a different reason. Jessica
would have been 11 years old that day. Today Jessica would have been 13 years old. The reality is Jessica is no longer here with us but rather
she has gone on to a much better place. I am looking forward to the day when Jesus takes me from this life and I can be with Jessica and others that have passed on before me. I have so many unanswered questions that only my God will be able to answer. Perhaps I wont have to ask the questions when I get there because we may get all the answers when we transition from this world to the next. Nevertheless Happy Birthday Jessica Ann Moffitt. You are loved and appreciated today and forever more. Say hello to all of the other children that must be there with you in the arms of Jesus.

In loving memory, forever you dad.....