Saturday, November 03, 2007

Splinters and barbecue





I am sitting here distracted by the Blue Collar Weekend on the comedy channel. Have you ever tried to start writing while listening to Larry the Cable guy talking about how ugly his sister is? That means I will have to write during the muted commercials. Why is it my TV always gets LOUDER during commercials? Do the broadcasters think if they double the decible output during the commercial that you will hear it even if you mute it?
Our praise team traveled to the isle of Palms Baptist church today. We were invited to provide the singing fo their Fall Festival. We had a caravan of 7 cars and trucks with one trailer. We arrived at approximtely 1 pm and got everything set up within an hour.
After some opening songs we took a break and I was able to sample their fine Baptist Cuisine. We had barbecue , hot dogs, cole slaw, barbecue beans and lots of cold drinks. I must say that I sampled a little bit of everything. i warned everyone that I was eating some of the baked beans and that I could not be held responsible for any spontaneous internal combustions later on in the afternoon. I dont think they really understood what I was driving at.
Ok, so I am in line getting my food and I make it out of the tent with this plate that was loaded with goodies. I walked across the grass to the first picinic table I could find and found myself standing there staring at this picnic table. Something in my brain had me frozen in place as I contemplated what my next move was going to be. There was something just not right with the seats. All of a sudden I realized that the picnic table I had chosen to sit at was for the toddlers. I thought that there was little to no chance that I could get my FOOT into that chair much less my rear end.
I looked up and several men stood there and said , Yeah , we dont think you will fit into that tiny little seat either sir. LOL... I quickly spotted a larger , taller and more accomodating table that I could actually sit at. My wife was heading over in my direction and I wanted to make sure she did not sit down at the kddie table so I waved her over and told her to have a seat on the opposite side of me so I would not flip over the table. I was afraid this lgiht weight picnic table was going to turn into a teeter totter gone wild and flip upside down with me in it. Luckily my wife sat down right in time to keep me from wearing the baked beans on my face.
Now that the table was anchored firmly to the ground with no chances of it flipping I decided that I needed to oouch around and get more comfortable. I am here to tell you that I WISH that I had been wearing real polyester before that maneuver was over. At least with real polyester I would have had a chance to partially deflect the wooden darts that were being shot into parts of my posterior that I have not seen in a long long time. Imagine the shock I had once the nerve endings kicked in on that move. I was no longer focusing on my baked beans or barbecue and my brain was wondering why it was really necessary for me to make that fast lateral movement to one side to begin with.
After the food was consumed and I managed to extract myself from the picnic table I made sure to make a public service announcement to all in attendance. I told them that sudden lateral movements while planted on the wooden seats was not a good idea. That announcement was enough to make several people laugh which is cool. I am glad that they had so much fun with the new found information on my part.
Did I mention that this is a Baptist church and we attend a pentecostal church? Did I mention that most of the attendees were of the older generation? Lets just say that the contemporary praise and worship music we were playing was a little bit too progressive for some of them. My wife told me later that even though the facial expressions never changed and you could not tell if they were even paying attention their foot was tapping. I think that means they were getting into the music which is cool. At one point I said something that sort of was hoping for audience participation. At some point during about 20 seconds of silence the lead singer said something like "its ok to throw spit balls at us if that is what you need to do. I came up with one better and said, better yet just throw some of them there good cookies at us and I can have some more desert. Well that got their attention and some folks actually laughed at it. I am not sure if that was because they were having cool images of throwing cookies at a fat man holding a mic or my scrambling around trying to catch them.





James Moffitt
http://www.lightourworld.com
http://moffittjc.blogharbor.com/blog
james.moffitt@comcast.net

Thursday, November 01, 2007

BLT with Potatoe Salad anyone?

Last night my wife picked me up from work and we drove straight over to Sandpiper Lanes so that I could pre bowl yesterday for the league games that I normally would bowl tonight. I cant attend league bowling tonight because our Praise Team at church has practice from 7 pm to 9:30 pm for an upcoming engagement at a church on the Isle of Palms this Saturday at 2 pm.
We got to the bowling alley and I bowled one practice game on lane 30 and rolled a 147. Since I have a whopping 126 average on this particular league I was pretty happy about that. AFter the practice game I moved over to lanes 31 and 32 for my three games which will count for score tonight. My first game was a 127 , second game a dismal 113 and my third game a 145. I hit my average two games out of three and my total average was around 128. That would be better than bowling me blind at 10 pins below average or getting a substitute bowler that bowled worse than my scores. Now that I think about it they probably would have been better off with a substitute bowler. Oh well, hind sight is always 20/20.
After bowling we went from N Charleston to Goose Creek (aka Duck Ditch USA) where we live and decided to go to Ye Old Fashioned for dinner. This establishment is pretty nice and sort of reminds you of a Dairy Queen or whatever. Most of the folks that work there are usually teenagers who are earning money after school hours and they do a pretty good job mostly. Last night I ordered a Dagwood sandwich with two meats and two cheeses of my choice and a bowl of chicken noodle soup. I am not much of a fan of chicken noodle soup but they told me that it was very good. I stepped out in faith and decided to try it. We paid the bill and sat down to eat in a restaurant tha was pretty empty. I guess there were two other couples in there other than us and the employees.
We had 40 minutes to eat our food and then pick up our kids and then go home by 9 pm so I could see the show Bionic Woman. I am sort of fond of the new show and I decided that we would need to get the show on the road so I could make this happen. We got our drinks very quickly and my soup. I have to say that this was the BEST chicken noodle soup that I have ever tasted. It was very good and was served steaming hot with saltine crackers. As I sat there eating my soup and crackers and sipping my tea I thought about how I would blog this experience to let the folks in Goose Creek (and beyond) what a nice experience we had. This is where the experience went from nice to slightly silly.
It was approximately 8:40 pm and all we had gotten was our drinks and soup and the other food was no where in sight. When I realized that we would be running late I decided that we should grab the main dish as a to go item and just eat it at home in front of the idiot box. My wife agreed and off to the counter we went to advise the kids of our decision. The kids (employees) said ok, not a problem and began to move the food from the paper plates to a to go bag. The Dagwood went in first and then we watched one of the teenage boys making my wife's BLT sandwich. There were three pieces of toast, lettuce, bacon etc. Then the boy begins to pile on a big helping of what I thought was tuna fish on the sandwich. I was in a hurry and thought this is strange for a BLT but ok, lets just do this and go. Since this was my wife's sandwhich she was paying more attention to the details and saw that it was not tuna fish but instead it was potatoe salad being put on her sandwich. My wife turned to me and said, honey why is he putting potatoe salad on my BLT. I said, honey, I have no clue why he is doing that. LOL
I got the attention of the boy by that time who had turned around and asked him what kind of sandwich he was making. He just sort of looked at us and then looked at the order and said you ordered a BLT and potatoe salad. At this point the adult supervisor comes over and says " lets do this sandwich over". By this time my wife and I were sitting at the counter just giggling like a couple of school girls at the fact that this kid put a heaping helping of potatoe salad on her BLT.
All in all we still had a good experience and the food was good once we got it seperated out into the appropriate individual servings. LOL...






James Moffitt
http://www.lightourworld.com
http://moffittjc.blogharbor.com/blog
james.moffitt@comcast.net