Healing relationships

This weekend was spent taking care of typical weekend chores and tasks. I went to Cracker Barrel with a dear friend and had a nice conversation. One of the things that we spoke about was relationships and how people can perceive us and then judge us for our actions. My friend has told me in the past that I should be careful about what I say when I am around other people. That is because those people may not understand everything that I am saying or from what context I am speaking from. Then that person may unwittingly take what you say and then later on pass it along to others to whom it may not be any of their business. You have had it happen to you I am sure. You make a statement and then before you know it that statement or a facimile of that statement comes back full circle through someone else. Then you are wondering how in the world the real meaning of what you said originally got so messed up. The truth of the matter is this. Gossip is BAD no matter whom is involved. I think that the bible speaks about how we should not gossip about our neighbors or brothers and sisters. As a matter of fact the bible spends a LOT of time talking about how we should treat one another. It says that THEY (the world) will know us by our LOVE one for another. The sad fact of the matter is that Christians in general have forgotten how to love one another. We go to church and we sing songs of praise and adoration to Jesus and we learn about the character and nature of God and then when we are living our lives Monday through Saturday we seem to forget how to apply these truths.

I am no different than most folks in that I too struggle with moving head knowledge into my heart and abiding in it. In other words most of us have enough head knowledge about who God IS but we fail to translate that to whom God IS in US. God is God and we are who we are and sometimes there is a huge chasm between the two. Our intentions are noble and humble at times but we get tripped up into the things of this world and our attitudes and preconceived notions of whom we are or whom our brother and sister is that we forget to filter that junk through whom God is in us.

No man is an island and I do not care how secluded a life you live you will eventually rub elbows with a neighbor or two. You will find out that not everyone is going to like you much less love you. That is the same for christians despite the fact that we are to express phileo type love for one another. I found out this weekend that someone that I have very little contact with who attends my church has disliked me for almost 5 or 6 years. When I found out why this person disliked me it was because of things that I have said and done in my life. That person has decided to not only dislike me because of these things but now that I know that and I want to speak to them about those things that have decided to share those things with others and when I approached them about it they refused to talk to me. Like most people , when they are accused of "running their mouth" about someone they would like an opportunity to face their accuser and set the record straight. Remember what I said about gossip earlier? Well, the truth of the matter is that I did share something with someone in confidence. I spoke to a friend about another friend in general terms not intending to hurt anyone. Those comments came back to me full circle through the friend that I was talking about to begin with. Then I was accused of running my mouth to the whole church. Sigh...

I think that it is necessary for all of us to take inventory from time to time and make whatever adjustments that we need to make to line up our vertical relationship with Christ and when we do that we are better equipped to manage our horizontal relationships with our family, friends, church members and neighbors. When the vertical relationship is messed up then the rest of them will be messed up as well. As for the past, that is difficult to deal with at times. We are all by products of our past whether we like it or not. We all have sin in our past which includes things said and done that both dishonor God and our friends and family. All we can do when that happens is to confess that sin or deed and do whatever we can to make it right. We are not supposed to let things fester in our hearts and allow a root of bitterness to creep in and destroy us from the inside out. We are to go to our bretheren in a spirit of love and humility examining our own eye (life) for faults and make sure of our motivation for going to them to begin with.

Some of you that will read this blog post will be able to identify with what I am saying. You know that I struggle with my humanity and my relationship with Christ just like the next person. I have said things and done things that are immature, irresponsible and incomprehensible to most folks. As much as I would like to do it I can not change the past. The deeds are done and I am a miserable dirty sinful wretch because of them. I am ashamed and embarrased because of them. I have tried to right whatever wrongs that I can with those that I have offended. If those folks are not ready to deal with me where I am at because of where they are at then all I can do is turn all of this over to the Lord. All of this stuff is bigger than me and even I do not have the wisdom to understand it all. All I can do is focus on my vertical relationship with my redeemer and ask Him to do a supernatural work in the lives of those folks that I have offended and hurt and bring healing to their hearts despite of what I have done. I also can and have asked HIM to help me to be a better brother , father, husband, leader , worker to those that are around me.

The problem with being transparent is that you have to be painfully real to everyone around you. That means that those that know you, see you and live with you do not experience a facade or fake persona but they see you for who you really are. I do not share these things with you to bring glory or attention to my faults or how I have failed my fellow man. I say these things in the hopes that I can illuminate the fact that with God there is HOPE and that relationships can experience healing and redemption if people are willing to do their part.

I hope you have a good week.




James Moffitt
http://www.lightourworld.com
http://moffittjc.blogharbor.com/blog
james.moffitt@comcast.net