40 Days of Purpose Chapters 20 -23

Day 20- Relationships are always worth restoring

Verse to remember-Do everything possible on your part to live in peace with everybody. Romans 12:18

Question to consider- Who do I need to restore a broken relationship with today?


Regarding the true definition of a broken relationship I can think of several.

Mother- unable to reconcile, tried several years and failed
Sister- lifestyle justification issues
Jeremy - time
Creditors - need to pay off debt



My father died in 1990 of cancer. Shortly before his death I attempted to make some type of amends with our shattered relationship. I wont go into all the gory details but I will say that we were never close to one another. As for my mother I spent between 2 to 3 years trying to reconcile our relationship. My mother and father adopted my sister and I. Both parents were strict disciplinarians and my sister and I both rebelled. As young adults our parents chose to disown us. We did not meet their standards of perfection. I spent a lot of time in the late 90's trying to reconcile my relationship with my mother. All my mother was willing to do was to regurgitate every single mistake that I have ever made and reinforce in her mind why I was not worthy of her time nor was she interested in knowing her grandchildren.

My sister Tanya who is 2 years older than me has her fair share of broken relationships, emotional baggage and problems. My sister moved to Canton Ohio many years ago and because of that we have not been very close. My sister revealed to me that she has been engaged in a homosexual lifestyle and expected me to affirm her and encourage her choices. Because I did not do that our relationship was strained to the point that we did not talk for several years. In the last couple of years I have managed to make a trip to Canton Ohio and spend some time with my sister trying to encourage her to make some tough decisions.

My son Jeremy who lives near Houston Texas will be 18 years old this year. We are not as close as I would like to be and part of that reason is because I have failed to stay close to him. In August of 1997 my family and I moved from Houston Texas to Atlanta Georgia. My moving made any type of close relationship almost impossible for us to maintain. Before our move our relationship was not the closest in the world but it was easier and more convenient for Jeremy and I to spend time together when I lived in the same city as him. I have been told that my moving away and taking contract jobs that kept me away from him reflected my lack of concern for his feelings. So, I guess that I have done some damage. I hope that it is not permanent and when Jeremy becomes an adult that he will be able to choose to reach out to me more than he has in the last 17 years.

My creditors would love for me to reconcile my relationships with them. We owe, we owe, off to work we go. How many of us sing that song because we are up to our eyeballs in debt. I am not stranger to debt and thanks to bankruptcy and a divorce my credit has been screwed up for years. I have also made some bad decisions after the bankruptcy that has not helped me either with regards to credit.

Chapter 21- It is my responsibility to protect the unity of the church

Verse to remember - Let us concentrate on the things which make for harmony and the growth of our fellowship together. Romans 14:19

Question to consider- what am I personally doing to protect unity in my church family right now?



I am remaining faithful and committed to the church body and the ministry that goes on within the body of Christ there. On page 161 we are instructed to "focus on what we have in common, not our differences". "We should value and enjoy those differences, not merely tolerate them."

On page 162 we see the following principle. "Be realistic in your expectations". "once you discover what God intends real fellowship to be it is easy to become discouraged by the gap between the IDEAL and the REAL in your church". "Yet we must passionately love the church in spite of its imperfections."

Having read this chapter I am reminded of two things. If I ever want the "ideal" fellowship to happen I will need to exemplify what "real" fellowship is through my actions. The second thing I have learned is that I need to constantly remind myself that everyone is on a unique path of their own and for me to expect them to understand and grasp the things I do is unrealistic. I wonder how many of my brothers or sisters in the Lord think the same thing of me? Gosh, why doesn't James get it?? Instead of focusing on the future of "real" fellowship at Grace Fellowship I need to find a way to focus on those things that we as a body of Christ DO have in common now and build on that. The following commands are excellent suggestions to protect unity in our church. " Choose to encourage rather than criticize". "Refuse to listen to gossip". "Practice Gods method for conflict resolution" "Support your pastor and leaders".


Chapter 22 - I was created to become like Christ

Verse to remember - As the spirit of the Lord works within us , we become more and more like him and reflect his glory even more. 2 Corinthians 3:18b

Question to consider - In what area of my life do I need to ask for the spirits power to be like Christ today?


The following statements are important to me in this chapter.

"every time you forget that character is one of Gods purposes for your ulife, you will become frustrated by your circumstances"


"life is supposed to be difficult ! It is what enables us to grow"


I need to learn how to welcome and embrace difficult circumstances in my life. I am like most people in that I do not cherish conflicts but would rather life to be hassle free and smooth sailing. I want my needs met but I also desire to have those things that I see others have. Lately I have found myself envious of people who appear to have extremely stable lives. That is my perception from where I am standing. Those people are those who have been able to keep a job for longer than 2 years, have a home they are purchasing, drive new cars etc. I realize that jealousy and envy is sin and I also acknowledge that some folks have made wise choices in their life that enables them to have certain things and enjoy certain activities and social status. I am reminded today that perhaps I do not see what goes on behind the perception I have with regards to stability in the lives of others. Maybe those people struggle in other areas of their lives that I can not see. Maybe their struggles in the areas of life that they are in are those character building blocks that Christ is using to bring them into likeness with him.

I need to take my eyes off of other people and their circumstances and outward appearances and stop comparing my life with theirs. I need to focus on my own life struggles and learn those lessons and character building that I can receive as I am going through them. I need to quit asking "Why me Lord" and "why cant I have a break just for a little bit" and "why do I have to go through long periods of intense battle and struggle". I need to learn to be thankful for God placing his grace and mercy on my life and caring enough about me to lead me through the trials and tribulations of daily sanctification. I am reminded of Christ praying in the garden knowing what was ahead of him. He asked God to remove the cup from him if at all possible but nevertheless that His will be done on earth and not his own. As I whine and moan and complain that life is so tough I am sinning against God. I need the Holy Spirit to give me the strength to perceive life as a character building and as a challenge to be obedient and make the right choices.

I also need assistance in the area of being servant. I need to learn how to seek out the needs of others and do whatever I am able to do to minister to them. I need to be more selfless and self seeking.