Through the pain onward to battle and victory

Today is a new day and the anger of yesterday has abated somewhat. Because of that and other thought processes I will continue with my endeavours at ADT on Monday. I figure that I am working for myself. So, what I have started in the last several weeks is something that I can build on. I know that the business is out there and that all I need to do is find it and cultivate it. I have come to some conclusions that I am not necessarily happy about but then again we all face things in our lives both professionally and personally that we have no control over. If I have no control over something then it would be silly for me to allow that thing to anger me to the point of controlling me. People are going to be who they are and there is nothing that I can do to change them. All I can do is accept others despite their short comings and try to forgive them and get on with life.

Through the pain onward to battle and victory is a statement that I heard many years ago. I believe that the pastor of Abundant Life Church in Houston Texas used that as a sermon title one Sunday. That title is a powerful statement that I can identify with. As humans we all experience pain and discomfort whether it be physical, emotional, spiritual or mental. Sometimes we experience it in all of the areas or just a combination of one or two. Pain stinks. There is no other way to put it. No matter what we try to do to mask it or hide it the pain is there , it hurts and there is nothing we can do to run from it. How long do we hide from pain or mask it? Sure, there are times when we can deaden the pain by retreating to using alcohol , drugs or other things in life. The problem with doing this is the pain never goes away until we deal with it directly. Through the pain onward to battle and victory. Some of us deal with pain by lashing out at others and trying to transfer the pain onto them and make them responsible. Somehow we find solace in inflicting pain on others thinking that since we hurt others should hurt too. Sometimes we deal with pain by allowing it to drive us into deep despair and depression. Perhaps there at times that this is a normal response and then sometimes we may not be willing to get beyond that despair and depression because we find comfort there.

Katy and I are both working through the pain of loosing our daughter to cancer two years ago. I said that pain stinks. The pain caused by grief is in the same category. People love to tell you that time heals all wounds. I am not sure where those people got that statement because I am not sure that is a realistic assesment of recovery. Maybe it would be better stated to say that over time the pain is not as intense. Over time you learn how to live with the pain. I dont think that the pain will ever be totally healed and forgotten. For those of you that have never lost a child to cancer you can not even come close to understanding the depth of despair and anguish that a parent goes through. The best thing that you can do for those of us that have lived through this type of pain is not to talk to us but rather just listen. That may be harsh to swallow but somehow words and intentions sometimes do more damage than they do good.

How much pain can one withstand you ask? I asked that question after I moved my family to Simpsonville SC and then one month later the one year contract was prematurely ended. We were 3 hours away from Charleston and knew absolutely no one. No church home to attend, very little reserve capital to fall back on and 278.00 per week from unemployment benefits. Some of you might be saying OH just suck it up and deal with it and quit being a whiney baby about it. I understand that in the grand scheme of things that there are OTHER folks out there that are suffering MORE than we have. Somehow when you are dealing with the pain of YOUR issues it is hard to find solace in the fact that there are others suffering more than you. You have two choices to make ultimately. Face the pain and deal with it or allow it do drive you under and defeat you.

That takes us to the battle. Sometimes the battle affects others that are around you. As we are fighting our personal pain sometimes others become victims of our warfare. No, it is not fair but it happens. Gosh, could that be WHY I have very few friends? LOL.... Maybe I am so deep into the warfare of fighting the pain that I just dont have time to invest in being a friend to others. Could that be? Part of the battle comes in the shape of keeping the marriage and family in one piece. Luckily for me I have the most awesome wife in the world. Katy has always been there for me through thick and thin. The other aspect of battling with the pain is that it sometimes crosses over into our professional lives.

I will probably continue this thought process but not now. I sat down at the computer wondering what I was going to say and how and you see what happened. I have more to say than time allows at the moment. I need to go get Kristina and Justin from the Awana car wash in Goose Creek. I hope you have a good day and a restful weekend.

God bless