Through the fear onward to battle and victory.

I gained an EXTRA five pounds on vacation. I am here to tell you that I cannot afford an extra OUNCE. In some ways this was a good thing in that it pushed me over the edge of complacency and lethargy into purposeful motion. I looked at the scales for several moments and said enough is enough. It is time for fat boy to get off the scales and determine in his heart to do something about this other than be depressed and feeling sorry for himself. If you are not overweight or struggle with over eating then you probably don't have a clue about the struggles folks can have.

If you will, go with me for a moment. One of the problems with being overweight is that your "self image" goes down the tubes. Not only do you not like how you look to yourself but you feel as if other people also do not like the way you look. I realize that this is probably not the case and that I am projecting my poor self image off onto others and assuming more than I should. Along with the poor self image comes the problem with clothing. I am constantly looking for clothes that will HIDE the fact that I am horribly overweight. One of the best ways for me to do that is to wear larger shirts on the outside of my pants. That way when I sit down the Good Year Blimp that hangs around my waist won't come popping out at someone.

Someone said something the other day that caught my attention. They told me that they had never remembered seeing old fat people. When I thought about it the thought rang true. I have not seen any older fat people either. That leads me to believe that most if not all fat people (me) don't live to a ripe old age. My self preservation kicked in and started to bug me enough for me to think about it. Luckily for me I have some very good friends that are really my friends. They are true friends because they take the time to look beyond the blubber and see me for who I really am. They do not judge me because I am overweight. My true friends also encourage me to do something about my problem and give me some tips on how to do it.

Through the fear onward to battle and victory is my battle cry! The fear is the thought of not being able to get beyond the 20 lb range that I seem to be able to lose and not get beyond. I am tired of not being able to get beyond that limit. I am reminded by a good friend that you cannot eat an elephant in one sitting. You have to eat the elephant one bite at a time. You also can not eat that same elephant in one day either. You have to take one day at a time and just do what you can. Before you know it the elephant will get smaller and smaller. Before you know it this elephant will start to look like a donkey instead of an elephant. I think you get the point. All I can do is what I can do today and I cannot worry about what people think about me or what might happen tomorrow.

Last week I went back to the local recreation center and I renewed my yearly membership and reacquainted myself with the aerobics equipment upstairs. My determination and drive to do something to help myself has rewarded me with the loss of seven unwanted pounds. That means that I have had to keep monitoring my calorie intake and try to keep it under 2000 calories. That also means that I have had to go to the gym several days in a row even when I did not feel like it. My ultimate goal is to get into the habit of going to the gym every other day. I want my life to be something different. I want my lifestyle to change to the point that I can truly enjoy it and do some of the things that I can no longer do but used to.

The positive side to weight loss is energy gain. I do not feel like bouncing up the steps at work just yet but I feel like I have more than enough energy to get where I need to go on campus. Thanks to the sweltering heat here in Charleston I have a new problem and it is called heat and humidity. Luckily for me I have an air conditioned cage (office) on the fifth floor of the Bell South building so I can work in comfort. My short term goal is to lose atleast one or two pound per week and I think that I should be able to meet that goal. My next goal will be to fit into some of the pants that have been hanging in my closet for way too long gathering dust.