The birds got me again!!!

I have a story to tell. It has to do with something I have heard since I was a small child. What goes around comes around. Here is another good one. Paybacks are hell. Today I spent some time with my sweet wife and after I took her home so she could get a nap I decided to spend some time washing the Durango. Most of the time I would just feed the ATM machine 5 bucks and sit in the truck and enjoy listening to some music or chat on my cell phone while the machine works its magic. Today I decided to be cheap and at the same time give the Durango the personal touch by using the WAND. After about 20 minutes and 2 bucks later I was done with the wash job. I jumped in the Durango and off like a flash I was on my way to the bowling alley. I need to go by the bowling alley so I can practice. My average is horrid on both leagues therefore I need to practice all I can. I drive up to the bowling alley and get out and lovingly dry my Durango with a towel that I had acquired when I dropped Katy off at the house. I squirted some tire shine junk on the tires and admired my handiwork. Now that the Durango was nice and shiny I could put my attention on the bowling pins once again. I ate lunch at the bowling alley and worked my way through 3 games. First score was 182, second game 149 and the third and final game was 120. Trust me, after that last score I put the ball back in the bag and quietly left the bowling alley. I think that I did figure out some things that I can try to increase my bowling score and hopefully my average in 2007. As I rounded the corner I admired my bright blue Dodge Durango in the sunlight and anticipated getting up into the cab and settling down into the comfortable seat. As I neared the truck I noticed something on the hood. I thought to myself, surely these are leaves that just blew on to the hood and stuck to it. The only thing wrong with that idea is that I did not see any leaves on the ground around the truck and the stuff on the hood was beginning to look whiter the closer I got. In horror my suspicions were confirmed as I viewed the apparent bombing run by several birds while I was bowling. Two things occurred to me immediately. Well, ok, several things occurred to me. The first thing that occurred to me is that washing a vehicle to keep it nice looking is sometimes a futile action. The second thing I learned was that I should never wash my truck before I go to the bowling alley because that apparently attracts the nearby birds for a potty break. The third thing that came to my mind was that these birds could be distant cousins to the birds that I am guilty of killing when I was a young boy who got the proverbial Daisy BB gun for Christmas.

You probably thought that had to be the end of this silly story but hang on to your seats, it gets weirder. I jump in the Durango complete with bird droppings and headed out to leave the bowling alley and stopped at the first car wash I could find. I put 1.00 into the coin operated wash and was greeted by NOTHING coming out of the wand. As I watched the time just whiled away while I desperately switched the knob trying to get something wet out of the wand. The only thing that worked in this particular bay was the brush that had pink soap gurgling out of it. Knowing that I would never see my dollar again and that the bird doo was still on the hood I got busy scrubbing it off. I went to the coin changer to get more change to discover that both of the coin changers were out of order. First the bird doo, second the washing bay machine was not working and then the coin machine. Do you see any sort of pattern here? I felt like I was in the twilight zone or something. Feeling like an idiot by this point I walked across the street to the gas station and purchased a Diet Doctor Pepper so I could get the lady behind the counter to open the cash register and get me some change for the car wash. Yes, I shared the entire story with the clerk and she had a good laugh.

I have spent the last three days fighting an ugly cold and I am about ready for this mess to be over with. I am thankful to be in pretty good health and most of the time I do not have the minor irritations of a common cold. Having had to put up with this junk has made me appreciative of this good health. We actually have an infirmary here for now. My daughter (princess) Kristina needs to have two root canals done which will require me to either rob a bank or win the lottery. Katy has a headache she can not seem to get rid of and Justin managed to stick half of the porch under one of the fingernails on his left hand. I tried to do minor surgery on his hand but Justin just could not deal with the pain and would not let me do further surgery.