Gee, what lives under here guys??
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Saturday, December 09, 2006
The birds got me again!!!
I have a story to tell. It has to do with something I have heard since I was a small child. What goes around comes around. Here is another good one. Paybacks are hell. Today I spent some time with my sweet wife and after I took her home so she could get a nap I decided to spend some time washing the Durango. Most of the time I would just feed the ATM machine 5 bucks and sit in the truck and enjoy listening to some music or chat on my cell phone while the machine works its magic. Today I decided to be cheap and at the same time give the Durango the personal touch by using the WAND. After about 20 minutes and 2 bucks later I was done with the wash job. I jumped in the Durango and off like a flash I was on my way to the bowling alley. I need to go by the bowling alley so I can practice. My average is horrid on both leagues therefore I need to practice all I can. I drive up to the bowling alley and get out and lovingly dry my Durango with a towel that I had acquired when I dropped Katy off at the house. I squirted some tire shine junk on the tires and admired my handiwork. Now that the Durango was nice and shiny I could put my attention on the bowling pins once again. I ate lunch at the bowling alley and worked my way through 3 games. First score was 182, second game 149 and the third and final game was 120. Trust me, after that last score I put the ball back in the bag and quietly left the bowling alley. I think that I did figure out some things that I can try to increase my bowling score and hopefully my average in 2007. As I rounded the corner I admired my bright blue Dodge Durango in the sunlight and anticipated getting up into the cab and settling down into the comfortable seat. As I neared the truck I noticed something on the hood. I thought to myself, surely these are leaves that just blew on to the hood and stuck to it. The only thing wrong with that idea is that I did not see any leaves on the ground around the truck and the stuff on the hood was beginning to look whiter the closer I got. In horror my suspicions were confirmed as I viewed the apparent bombing run by several birds while I was bowling. Two things occurred to me immediately. Well, ok, several things occurred to me. The first thing that occurred to me is that washing a vehicle to keep it nice looking is sometimes a futile action. The second thing I learned was that I should never wash my truck before I go to the bowling alley because that apparently attracts the nearby birds for a potty break. The third thing that came to my mind was that these birds could be distant cousins to the birds that I am guilty of killing when I was a young boy who got the proverbial Daisy BB gun for Christmas.
You probably thought that had to be the end of this silly story but hang on to your seats, it gets weirder. I jump in the Durango complete with bird droppings and headed out to leave the bowling alley and stopped at the first car wash I could find. I put 1.00 into the coin operated wash and was greeted by NOTHING coming out of the wand. As I watched the time just whiled away while I desperately switched the knob trying to get something wet out of the wand. The only thing that worked in this particular bay was the brush that had pink soap gurgling out of it. Knowing that I would never see my dollar again and that the bird doo was still on the hood I got busy scrubbing it off. I went to the coin changer to get more change to discover that both of the coin changers were out of order. First the bird doo, second the washing bay machine was not working and then the coin machine. Do you see any sort of pattern here? I felt like I was in the twilight zone or something. Feeling like an idiot by this point I walked across the street to the gas station and purchased a Diet Doctor Pepper so I could get the lady behind the counter to open the cash register and get me some change for the car wash. Yes, I shared the entire story with the clerk and she had a good laugh.
I have spent the last three days fighting an ugly cold and I am about ready for this mess to be over with. I am thankful to be in pretty good health and most of the time I do not have the minor irritations of a common cold. Having had to put up with this junk has made me appreciative of this good health. We actually have an infirmary here for now. My daughter (princess) Kristina needs to have two root canals done which will require me to either rob a bank or win the lottery. Katy has a headache she can not seem to get rid of and Justin managed to stick half of the porch under one of the fingernails on his left hand. I tried to do minor surgery on his hand but Justin just could not deal with the pain and would not let me do further surgery.
You probably thought that had to be the end of this silly story but hang on to your seats, it gets weirder. I jump in the Durango complete with bird droppings and headed out to leave the bowling alley and stopped at the first car wash I could find. I put 1.00 into the coin operated wash and was greeted by NOTHING coming out of the wand. As I watched the time just whiled away while I desperately switched the knob trying to get something wet out of the wand. The only thing that worked in this particular bay was the brush that had pink soap gurgling out of it. Knowing that I would never see my dollar again and that the bird doo was still on the hood I got busy scrubbing it off. I went to the coin changer to get more change to discover that both of the coin changers were out of order. First the bird doo, second the washing bay machine was not working and then the coin machine. Do you see any sort of pattern here? I felt like I was in the twilight zone or something. Feeling like an idiot by this point I walked across the street to the gas station and purchased a Diet Doctor Pepper so I could get the lady behind the counter to open the cash register and get me some change for the car wash. Yes, I shared the entire story with the clerk and she had a good laugh.
I have spent the last three days fighting an ugly cold and I am about ready for this mess to be over with. I am thankful to be in pretty good health and most of the time I do not have the minor irritations of a common cold. Having had to put up with this junk has made me appreciative of this good health. We actually have an infirmary here for now. My daughter (princess) Kristina needs to have two root canals done which will require me to either rob a bank or win the lottery. Katy has a headache she can not seem to get rid of and Justin managed to stick half of the porch under one of the fingernails on his left hand. I tried to do minor surgery on his hand but Justin just could not deal with the pain and would not let me do further surgery.
Sunday, December 03, 2006
Cardiac Cowboys defeat Giants 23 to 20
I can hardly breathe after that close call. I also can not believe that the cardiac cowboys actually pulled this off. In my opinion both teams played a sloppy penalty riddled game from start to finish. Being a die hard Cowboy fan I am happy that they won but I am not looking forward to the game between the Cowboys and the New Orlean Saints. I do not think that they (Cowboys) can afford another performance like the one tonight. The advantage that Dallas has next Sunday is that they have the home field advantage. I also hope that these wins whether close or not are not going to their heads and pumping their egos out of perspective. I really believe that if Dallas had missed the field goal in the last 2 seconds of regulation play and NY had won the toss during overtime that Dallas would most certainly have lost that game. Then again, that is all speculation on my part. Luckily for Dallas the game clock ran out and Dallas comes up with a win. GO DALLAS.....
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me
Once upon a time I did not celebrate my birthdays. My birthday was just another day to live through and most folks just ignored it. Perhaps most folks just did not know that it was a special day for me. In my childhood my birthday was forgotten as a way to punish me for being bad. The thought process went something like this. If you do not do what you are told and dont live up to my expectations then I will exclude you from any birthday parties or gifts. I will also give you switches under the christmas tree and no gifts. I will also abuse you mentally ,emotionally and psychologically until you bend to my will. Ok, so that was not much of a childhood. I have said this before and I will say it again. If it were not for Christ in my life I would probably be a serial killer, alcoholic, drug addict or prison inmate or all of the above.
I turned 29 AGAIN yesterday. LOL.... It just keeps happening over and over again, that magical time of the year when I can thank God for one more year of life. I actually try to take the time to thank God every day for life and good health. Amen? I think that in the hustle and bustle of life being surrounded by our families and our junk we get preoccupied with the non important things and forget the basics. So, I am happy that I turned 29 all over again. SWEET!!!!
We had a four day weekend so I could enjoy some time off from work and of course my being a temp meant NO pay. Oh well, the time off from the rat race and being with my wonderful family was worth it. I was treated to ANOTHER Dallas Cowboy victory over the Tampa Bay Bucaneers which moved Dallas to the top of the NFC East pile at 7 wins and 4 loses. The NY Giants lost which helps Dallas even more. I am thinking that I need to find a way to get one of those large white flags with the blue star on it that they race around the end zone after Dallas scores points. I want to stand on my Dodge Durango and do a dance while I am whirling that thing over my head.
One of the reasons that I am able to appreciate my birthdays at this semi advanced stage of life is that I have a family that appreciates me and good friends who do as well. A dear friend of mine took me out for a seafood dinner on the water in Mt Pleasant SC. This was a very nice restaurant with very good food and a superb hostess. This friend also gave me the coolest birthday present which is a Ferrari clock. What makes this so cool is that it does many things. Here are the things it does
A. projects the time with the Ferrari emblem on the wall
B. The projector portion of the clock swivels so you can put the time almost anywhere
C. It has multiple time zones
D. It has a remote sensor to tell you what temp it is outside
E. It auto synchronizes with the Atomic Clock somewhere out there...
F. It has an alarm clock
G. It has battery backup
H. It has a weather section that tells you if it will be rainy or not
I. It is RED and cool looking
J. It tells time in multiple languages which you can chose from
Ok, I might have missed something but it is just so cool. I figured out after some trial and error that you have to select the correct time zone. The clock kept losing three hours and I could not figure it out until my friend reminded me to "RTFM". LOL... Gosh, what a waste of time that is huh??
We spent Thanksgiving at our friend Flash's house in West Ashley. There were about 30 people who showed up and there was more than enough food to eat and take home afterwards. We all had a good time chatting, eating and then afterwards Charlie and I settled down to watch the Cowboy game. GO DALLAS!!!! Katy and I took some time to be alone and went to see DaJavu which is a new movie with Denzel Washington. That is a very cool movie. We also took the kids to see Happy Feet and Katy and I opted to watch Santa Clause Escape Clause 3. That was a pretty funny movie with Tim Allen. I dont think I heard one curse word the entire movie. No one got killed and there were no sex scenes either. It is amazing that in this day and age that Hollywood actually made a movie without the R rated garbage having to be in it. GO HOLLYWOOD. Less violence and more family values PLEASE.... If we need violence , gore and general crap we can turn on the evening news and get our fill 7 days per week. Amen?
Katy is almost done with year 2 of 3 with regards to her PACE program she is in. I have to say that from what I can see the PACE program is not for the faint hearted. Katy works 8 hours at school with the kids and then she comes home and spends another 6 to 8 hours doing something called an IEP and LESSON PLANS. Teachers are GROSSLY under appreciated and under paid. You would not believe that garbage that they have to put up with in the class room much less the horendous paper work and high standards that they are held to. I do not understand for the life of me how South Carolina schools can be doing as badly as they are with all that Katy has to go through. Maybe they just did not have standards at all way back when and that is why we are surrounded by ignorant stupid people. LOL.... I am amazed at how hard it is for some of my co workers who can not write a simple sentence. Has anyone heard of spell check lately? Here is your sign.... If you work in an office and have to use a computer to write something then you can cut and paste that into MS Word and use this nifty tool called "spell check". This feature in MS Word will allow you to fix spelling and grammar errors in your writing. Then, like magic, all is correct and you can send it to all of your other co workers who will not be the wiser that you do not know how to complete a simple sentence.
I understand that not everyone is good at writing or spelling. I do not understand how someone can be so lazy that they do not care enough to check their work before they send it out as a business communication to either a co worker or customer. (rant mode off)
Well, I think it is time for my first cup of coffee and time to get some work done here at the office. Thanks for listening to me drivel for a spell. It has been entirely too long....
Have a MERRY CHRISTMAS and please remember that the season we are celebrating is not about Victoria Secret but Jesus Christ who died on the cross for the sins of the world and gives us the wonderful gift of GRACE. I know that this will not sit well with some of you but I believe that Jesus is the reason for the season.
God bless
James Moffitt
http://www.lightourworld.com
http://moffittjc.blogharbor.com/blog
james.moffitt@comcast.net
I turned 29 AGAIN yesterday. LOL.... It just keeps happening over and over again, that magical time of the year when I can thank God for one more year of life. I actually try to take the time to thank God every day for life and good health. Amen? I think that in the hustle and bustle of life being surrounded by our families and our junk we get preoccupied with the non important things and forget the basics. So, I am happy that I turned 29 all over again. SWEET!!!!
We had a four day weekend so I could enjoy some time off from work and of course my being a temp meant NO pay. Oh well, the time off from the rat race and being with my wonderful family was worth it. I was treated to ANOTHER Dallas Cowboy victory over the Tampa Bay Bucaneers which moved Dallas to the top of the NFC East pile at 7 wins and 4 loses. The NY Giants lost which helps Dallas even more. I am thinking that I need to find a way to get one of those large white flags with the blue star on it that they race around the end zone after Dallas scores points. I want to stand on my Dodge Durango and do a dance while I am whirling that thing over my head.
One of the reasons that I am able to appreciate my birthdays at this semi advanced stage of life is that I have a family that appreciates me and good friends who do as well. A dear friend of mine took me out for a seafood dinner on the water in Mt Pleasant SC. This was a very nice restaurant with very good food and a superb hostess. This friend also gave me the coolest birthday present which is a Ferrari clock. What makes this so cool is that it does many things. Here are the things it does
A. projects the time with the Ferrari emblem on the wall
B. The projector portion of the clock swivels so you can put the time almost anywhere
C. It has multiple time zones
D. It has a remote sensor to tell you what temp it is outside
E. It auto synchronizes with the Atomic Clock somewhere out there...
F. It has an alarm clock
G. It has battery backup
H. It has a weather section that tells you if it will be rainy or not
I. It is RED and cool looking
J. It tells time in multiple languages which you can chose from
Ok, I might have missed something but it is just so cool. I figured out after some trial and error that you have to select the correct time zone. The clock kept losing three hours and I could not figure it out until my friend reminded me to "RTFM". LOL... Gosh, what a waste of time that is huh??
We spent Thanksgiving at our friend Flash's house in West Ashley. There were about 30 people who showed up and there was more than enough food to eat and take home afterwards. We all had a good time chatting, eating and then afterwards Charlie and I settled down to watch the Cowboy game. GO DALLAS!!!! Katy and I took some time to be alone and went to see DaJavu which is a new movie with Denzel Washington. That is a very cool movie. We also took the kids to see Happy Feet and Katy and I opted to watch Santa Clause Escape Clause 3. That was a pretty funny movie with Tim Allen. I dont think I heard one curse word the entire movie. No one got killed and there were no sex scenes either. It is amazing that in this day and age that Hollywood actually made a movie without the R rated garbage having to be in it. GO HOLLYWOOD. Less violence and more family values PLEASE.... If we need violence , gore and general crap we can turn on the evening news and get our fill 7 days per week. Amen?
Katy is almost done with year 2 of 3 with regards to her PACE program she is in. I have to say that from what I can see the PACE program is not for the faint hearted. Katy works 8 hours at school with the kids and then she comes home and spends another 6 to 8 hours doing something called an IEP and LESSON PLANS. Teachers are GROSSLY under appreciated and under paid. You would not believe that garbage that they have to put up with in the class room much less the horendous paper work and high standards that they are held to. I do not understand for the life of me how South Carolina schools can be doing as badly as they are with all that Katy has to go through. Maybe they just did not have standards at all way back when and that is why we are surrounded by ignorant stupid people. LOL.... I am amazed at how hard it is for some of my co workers who can not write a simple sentence. Has anyone heard of spell check lately? Here is your sign.... If you work in an office and have to use a computer to write something then you can cut and paste that into MS Word and use this nifty tool called "spell check". This feature in MS Word will allow you to fix spelling and grammar errors in your writing. Then, like magic, all is correct and you can send it to all of your other co workers who will not be the wiser that you do not know how to complete a simple sentence.
I understand that not everyone is good at writing or spelling. I do not understand how someone can be so lazy that they do not care enough to check their work before they send it out as a business communication to either a co worker or customer. (rant mode off)
Well, I think it is time for my first cup of coffee and time to get some work done here at the office. Thanks for listening to me drivel for a spell. It has been entirely too long....
Have a MERRY CHRISTMAS and please remember that the season we are celebrating is not about Victoria Secret but Jesus Christ who died on the cross for the sins of the world and gives us the wonderful gift of GRACE. I know that this will not sit well with some of you but I believe that Jesus is the reason for the season.
God bless
James Moffitt
http://www.lightourworld.com
http://moffittjc.blogharbor.com/blog
james.moffitt@comcast.net
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