Today was spent by beginning a new job search which began at the South Carolina Unemployment Commission. I found out about an entry level quality assurance position with a company in Simpsonville. Hey, didn't we just move from Simpsonville? I filled out the application and got set up for an interview on Wed at 9:15 am. Hopefully my resume wont scare them off and hopefully they will offer me a job. I figure that 9.00 per hour is better than 7.50 on unemployment benefits any day of the week.

I also went by the TATE TEMPORARIES in downtown Greenville and filled out an application. They apparently have some clerical work that I might be able to do on a temporary basis. Ya never know.... I found out this weekend that Walmart also has a phone number you can call and apply for a job online.

I also went by Kinkos by Haywood Mall area and got my resume and cover letter copied onto resume quality paper.

Now, I am going to Mauldin SC to bowl in my Monday night league. I think we are in fourth or fifth place and we have one or two more weeks to bowl and then this league will be over.

Do you have a Web Log? I bet you do and I do not know about it. If you do not have one, why not? Maybe you think that I am a little weird by posting my thoughts and daily/weekly/monthly updates for anyone to read. If you think I am a little weird you are probably not too far off base. My doctor says that I will be fine, he just did not say when. :)

Why do I keep this BLOG rolling you wonder? One reason I do this is so that people that are friends and family can keep up to date with our status. Its pretty easy actually. When I get in the mood to drivel I fire up w.blogger v 3.01 on my computer at home and I start banging at the keyboard. Once I am done I can post and publish to my web log with one click of the mouse. The second reason that I do this is because writing helps me to sort out my thoughts and bring order to my life. I guess that writing helps me to reflect on the events of the day or week and helps me to view my attitudes , focus and journey in such a way that I can learn and hopefully share with other people.

Why is it important to share our innermost thoughts, feelings, hopes, fears and dreams with the common Joe? Have you ever felt as if you were not talented or that even though you enjoyed something immensely you did not think that what you did would benefit someone else? That is how I felt about my writing. I have been writing short stories and ministry related articles online for approximately 9 years. One day I told an editor friend that even though I enjoy writing I felt that no one else would want to read it. I did not feel worthy of anyone else getting something out of my writing. I was reminded that people need to see the essence of who I am EVEN if I am a common Joe. I am a real person living in a real world with real problems just like you. How I perceive those problems , address those problems and solve those problems are unique to me and the life of my family. When I share my life journey and that of my family through my writing I am showing other common Joe's that their life is not that much different than mine and that they too can have hope. My desire is to share the HOPE that lives within me. That HOPE is Jesus Christ. Without Christ there is NO HOPE. Without Christ there is what the world offers and that is helplessness, pain, despair and depression. When Christ is at the center of your world there is HOPE, PEACE, LOVE and JOY. No matter how small of a JOE I or YOU might be the world needs to hear about the HOPE that lives within us and gives us the power to overcome the world in a REAL way.

You might be thinking at this point that you need to be a published author in order to do online journaling or blogging. All you need is the desire to put your thoughts and feelings into words and publish them to your own web log or journal. How well you write is not anywhere near as important as the essence of your journey. Yes, in order to be published and to earn money with your writing there will be 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration. Being a published writer may or may not happen for you but when that time comes you will know it. Until then just practice writing and get better at it. In the mean time you can just focus on telling the world about the Jesus in you.

With my new found freedom from the flea market I now have the ability to play around with my Web Log format. I have decided that the Yellow needs to GO and something new needs to take its place. I also have an RSS feed that is available for your reading pleasure even though I am not quite sure EXACTLY how that will be a benefit to you. I think that you have to have an RSS compliant reader to view it? I know that Chris Pirillo over at Lockergnome has been pushing out a lot of information about this so maybe I need to revisit what Chris has been publishing about RSS feeds. Hopefully my blog will now show up using my new template and the YeLlOw background will be gone. :)

My, how the time flies when you are having fun. August 2nd is upon us and on Tuesday the two year anniversary of Jessica passing will be here. It seems almost as if it was yesterday that I was pushing her around in her wheel chair.

My business venture ended quite suddenly yesterday afternoon. I decided that I did not need to be a part of the ongoing soap opera that was swirling around and causing more problems than it was worth. It is apparent to me that selling computers (used or new) is not a good way to make ends meet. I was pulling in between 20.00 and 50.00 every weekend after I got involved in this business venture so when you consider all the hours I have to put in to get to the point on the weekend to sell it just is not worth it. I would be better off making minimum wage washing dishes for 8 hours per day.

I got a lead from my friend in Charleston about some positions possibly coming open at the AFB there. My resume is on its way and hopefully I will be contacted for a telephone interview. Katy interviewed twice with a health care provider that specializes in juveniles with criminal records and mental health problems. If they like her references and she passes their background check then hopefully she will get a job offer next week.

Angel , our black lab, is doing much better and can move around more. Just the other day she was out in the yard trying to play with one of her toy balls. Angel is not very tolerant of Sammy, our new puppy though. Sammy seems to think that Angel is his play toy and wont leave her alone. Pumpkin the orange cat made his appearance back into our lives after the rescue party went back to Simpsonville to search for him. So, we have three people, 3 birds, two dogs and one cat in our metal shoe box. Can you tell that I am not fond of living in a single wide trailer? I think that when my parents were in the military that they lived in a trailer when I was younger and maybe I had some bad experiences that have caused this. The important thing for me to remember is that our family DOES have a safe place to live and we are out in the country where it is nice and PEACEFUL.... I do thank God for that every day.

It has rained so much in SC that we are experiencing floods. Most of the floods are in downtown Greenville and areas that have low lying areas with paved roads that cant handle the sudden influx of water that has been dumped on us during the last six weeks. Where we live we just have mud puddles since our drive way is not paved. The saying "you know you must be a red neck if instructions to your house includes turn off the paved road." Actually, it is not quite that bad. We do have a paved road in front of our lot which is something we did not have in Goose Creek (aka duck ditch USA). When it rained buckets there we had a pond by our drive way that we could have stocked with gold fish....

This next week will find me searching for ANY type of job that I can find. I have two weeks left on unemployment benefits and I MIGHT be qualified for an additional 13 weeks after that runs out. Nevertheless we NEED to increase our income past the poverty mark somehow. Maybe I need to just give up on my chosen field and just wash dishes for a while? I cant wash dishes because that would give me dish pan hands and then what would the guys say about me? LOL.... What guys and who cares anyway? My creditors and utility companies care, that is who cares....

Now that I have regained my weekends and I will no longer be hoping for flea market sales we will be able to start going back to church on Sunday. I have decided that we will be searching Travelers Rest for the church of our dreams. hahahahahah Ok, I guess that I dont really dream about churches since we ARE part of THE church. The body of Christ includes you and I IF we are a disciple of Christ. The buildings that we go to in order to gather with other believers is also known as the local church or congregation. Is there such a thing as a perfect church? Of course not, especially if we are a part of it. Nevertheless we need to find a local body of believers that we can become a part of. Maybe that will help us as we go through the tough times of unemployment and being new in this community.

   The dust has settled and we have been in our metal shoe box for three weeks. As far as shoe boxes go this one is nice compared to the one we lived in when we lived in Acworth Georgia. We lived in Red Barn Mobile Park and boy that was a dump and a half. We were one of the few folks that had two cars with shiny paint and a telephone line with Internet connectivity. You could here the people now. Hey mister, what is that funny looking box in yer living room??

I wonder if the street names or towns that you live on have any reflection on your past or future? When we lived in Simpsonville we lived on "Broken Past" street. Now we live in Travelers Rest. I have to say that WE certainly could use some REST and we fully qualify as TRAVELERS since we have moved over 20 times in the last 14 years. Katy keeps saying that we are gypsies for Jesus. I told someone the other day that we moved to Travelers Rest and they told me that we are in the dead center of "rednecksville". Oh well, what else is new in the deep south?

Our lives seem to have stabilized somewhat. We managed to get our utility bills paid up so that we could transfer our power and cable utilities to our new home. We even managed to pay off MaBell and get our home phone turned back on. Our rent is cheap enough now that we can manage it with my unemployment benefits. We live in a very quiet and secluded neighborhood with one house and three trailers. I hardly hear a peep out of any of the surrounding folks so that suits me just fine. Peace and quiet is just what the doctor ordered for us.

July of 2003 finds me in a business partnership with a local business owner who has agreed to finance a new computer business venture. Primarily we are focusing on the sale and repair/upgrades of used and refurbished systems. We are opening a cellular and computer store in the Fiesta Mexicana by the Civic Center on Cedar Lane in Greenville. I will be at the new store in the afternoon and evenings and still selling computers at the flea market on White Horse Road on Sat and Sunday. Katy may be learning how to sell cellular phones and accessories so we may be partners at the three tables at Whitehorse soon.

I am still looking for an IT job but thus far nothing has surfaced. Katy is taking a small break but I am sure that sometime in July or August after the kids go back to school (public) that she will renew her job search. Katy is fighting a staff infection and had a cyst that needed to be removed.

Our Angel (black lab) who got run over by a truck seems to have stabilized some. Angel will never be the dog she once was. She can barely walk because her right rear leg is messed up. I miss being able to rough house with her and play. Now it seems that all she can do is just lay around and watch everything going on around her. In some ways this incident has sent us through flash backs of how Jessica changed as a child when she was diagnosed with cancer. One day Jessica was a normal 8 year old girl and then before you know it she has blinding headaches and dizzy spells and winds up being diagnosed with a brain tumor. Over 14 months we watched her change from being a healthy vibrant girl to being so sick she could not even hold up her head to eat. Sigh.....

Sammy , our new resident puppy is quite the character. Sammy is approximately 4 inches long, 3 inches high and weighs in at about half a pound. You can not believe the energy this puppy has and how much noise he can generate. Sammy is the gift that keeps on giving now that I think about it since we are trying to teach him how to go outside to do his business. We should have named Sammy "Kujo" since he thinks he is a big dog and wants to attack anything that slightly resembles something bigger than himself. A puppy with an attitude.

I am hoping that I can find someone that knows computers well enough that can work for me at the flea market on Sundays so that we can find a church to attend here in Travelers Rest. It has been almost 3 months since we attended a church service or had regular fellowship with other believers. We have our friends and extended family on the Internet but that just does not replace face to face contact with brothers and sisters in real life. Katy and I have struggled on and off with the idea of trying to maintain some sort of relationship with other couples in real life but it seems that we keep failing miserably in that department. I think that the biggest factor for this is that most folks are just not inclined to be outgoing people persons. Most folks tend to want to stay to themselves and do not encourage much more than a superficial relationship at best. People are willing to socialize for 10 or 15 minutes at church and maybe go out to eat afterwards but anything past that seems to be a huge struggle. Maybe everyone is just too busy to develop relationships outside of their immediate families. Sometimes Katy and I wonder if we are just so messed up that no one wants to have anything to do with us outside of the church atmosphere. My doctor said I would be fine, he just did not say when. :) For those of you that DO know me you know what I just said and how I mean it.

This week will be spent putting together our new space that will be used as a computer warehouse for parts and a staging area where they will be worked on. We have to move some steel shelving from one storage area to another and then I have to set up four computers in our new store front so we can begin to try and sell them there. I will be there from 4pm until 9 pm Tuesday Wed and Thursday. Katy will probably be there on Monday and Friday while my bowling leagues are going on. The interesting and challenging thing about where we are going to sell the computers is that the area is predominantly Hispanic. That means that I will be learning some Spanish so that I can communicate more effectively with the customers. That ought to be fun....

As the old saying goes "When it rains it pours". We have been experiencing a torrential down pour at our house with regards to the garbage that has been happening.

Tuesday afternoon Katy received a call from her work telling her that they were terminating her employment. Katy lasted two weeks at this job and we both feel as if they did not give her a fair opportunity to address the "supposed" issues. Katy did the same type of work at MUSC in Charleston without any problems. We just paid the deposit on a single wide trailer that is 10 minutes from her job and now that job is gone. Maybe we would not have found the trailer if it had not been for the job?

Yesterday, after we were done with the flea market Katy and the kids took the station wagon over to the new location in Travelers Rest to verify the power had been turned on and the turn on the AC. Angel, our lab , got loose and was run over by a truck. Angel is alive but she is not doing that great. Katy and Kristina were pretty upset about the whole thing. Angel is like one of the children and is very special to us.
I believe that Angel probably wont play "chicken" with anymore vehicles for some time to come.

Today is the day we take our children to Camp Happy Days for a one week stay. Justin and Kristina have been counting the days and hours until this week. I am glad they are actually going to get to go. While they are gone we will be moving our stuff from Simpsonville out to Travelers Rest. One positive about this new location is that it is out in the country and is in a very quiet location.

Seven days and counting before we have to be out of Simpsonville.
We made arrangements to move within 10 minutes of Katy's job and she found out that they let her go yesterday. The excuse for letting her go was that she was afraid of the patients and she was not taking the blood pressure readings to their liking. Katy thinks that she was doing just fine and that one of the certified nursing assistants was talking trash about her to the boss. Maybe the job just was not to be? Atleast we have an almost full paycheck coming out of this fiasco on July 3rd which will help us tremendously.

On the positive side of things we will be living in cheaper accomodations and I will be able to afford them on what I get with unemployment and what I make at the flea market on the weekend.
Things will be extremely tight but that is better than being homeless or living in a motel for weeks on end.

When it rains it pours. I wonder what is in store for us next??

Ten days and counting. That is how long it will be before we are moved out of Simpsonville SC to Travelers Rest SC. We found a single wide trailer with 3 bedrooms and 2 baths to move into. The landlord there was willing to work with us with regards to paying rent by the week and the deposit was low enough so that we could afford it. We were starting to think that we would have to stay in a motel for 4 to 8 weeks while we found something that was affordable. Now we dont have to worry about getting a storage place for our stuff. Wahooooo!

We will be taking Justin and Kristina to Camp Happy Days on Sunday and then picking them back up the following Saturday. We will be moved into our new location by the time we pick them up.
The kids decided that they liked the new digs which is cool.

We have twelve days to move. Our landlord informed us that his soon to be ex wife owns the rental property that we are in and that she needs to move in since they are separated now. We cant really afford the house anyway and knew that we needed to move to something cheaper. This is forcing us to do the move now instead of in October. The search for a place to stay is in full swing. Thus far everyone wants first and last month rent to move in. My money tree is bare so that is not going to work for us.

We are having a moving sale and listing things on Iwanna.com to see if we can generate some extra income and lighten our moving load. In August of 1997 we sold everything we owned and moved to Douglasville Georgia. It took us almost 7 years to reaquire everything we sold. I told Katy that this was the last time I am doing this. No more working to acquire stuff that I am just going to have to sell anyway.

Our home phone is off and the cell phone and Internet connection will go next unless we can find the funds to pay the bills soon. If that happens we should be back online within 4 to 6 weeks. If you are reading this and we have your home phone number we will be in contact during that time to let you know how we are doing.

On the bright side of things Katy does have a job and I do have unemployment coming in until Feb of 2004. Those two things keep us from being totally indigent. PTL for that aye?

I know that we are not alone and that there are other folks that are in a pickle just like us. All we know is that we need a rest from this constant barrage of life changing events. We are weary since everything seems to be happening all at the same time. We need a break.

Come soon Lord Jesus come soon. I think that this family is more than ready....

I am starting to think that we live in a rain forrest and that we skipped summer and went straight into winter. This weekend was spent at the flea market and the temperature was 53 and it rained more than not. If you would have asked me on Saturday morning if I thought we would be able to make enough money to be profitable for the weekend I would have said no. Nevertheless going to the flea market is something we can do for ourselves to better our unemployment blues. We owe we owe so off to work we go is our motto. Some of you work Monday through Friday from 8 until 5 and we work Wed, Saturday and Sunday. We do not necessarily like it but for now it is helping us to stay afloat. My prayer on Saturday morning was two fold. I prayed that the Lord would turn the water spigot off and that he would send people with disposable income. God answered both of my prayers but not necessarily in the order or timing that I would have expected. Saturday morning the water spigot was turned off for about an hour which gave us time to unload our cars and get set up. Then the water was turned back on. We needed to rake together 293.00 to cover a rent check and the light bill that needs to clear our checking account this week. Thanks to our being able to sell Katy's computer we were able to get almost twice that amount which means the immediate emergency is taken care of. Thank you Jesus for providing for us in this way. Did I have the faith that God would provide this weekend? I guess that in some small way that I did because I did go out there even though I thought in my flesh and spirit that there was NO way that people would come to the flea market in the cold and rain.

I did not sell Katy's computer until 2:00 pm on Sunday when this guy walked up and was slightly interested in the deal. This person told me that they had been looking for a long time for a good deal and a good deal he certainly got. I told him that I thought God probably sent him by my table that day and that I was extremely thankful for his purchase. I also found out that this person also sells and works on computers and buys them in bulk which means that I may have made another local contact with someone that could provide me with consignment machines.

If I were to have it my way I would have a full time job making what I am used to make and we would not have to worry about bills and when they get paid. I believe that God has other ideas about providing for our family. Gods word says that we will never beg for bread and that our basic needs will be taken care of. Even though I have been under employed and over appreciated for over 95 days now we have not had to loose anything with regards to utilities and service. We have had to choose to sell off some of the extra STUFF that we have which are not required for every day life. Thusly Katy's computer has a new home. Are we happy about our belongings becoming a savings account for the flea market? No, we are not happy. The important thought here is that our happiness does not necessarily equate to our needs being met. Wants and temporary happiness do add up though. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be happy or experiencing happiness. What causes us problems though is when we prioritize our lives in such a way that we make decisions based on what makes us happy and fulfilled. We can not live our lives according to our emotional feelings but rather according to those priorities and purpose that God has for us at the moment.

I would rather that my needs be supplied abundantly and in advance so that my faith would not have to be tested on a daily basis. I would rather be happy and not have to experience stress and anxiety because of the bills that are piling up. The million dollar question is this. If everything is taken care of and there are no needs or dependency upon me to trust in Christ how much faith do I have and how much glory is given to Christ? When we are weak He is strong. Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God.
If all of my needs are provided for and I do not have to strain or struggle with regards to hearing God then what will get my attention? When I am happy and everything is going my way will I choose to HEAR God or will I fill my days with the activities of life that will drown Him out? How will others see God working in my life? How will I grow in grace and spiritual maturity if my happiness is continually determined by temporary events and stuff that just clutters up my life?

We are not alone in this struggle. There are a lot of people who are unemployed and struggling to make ends meet. Perhaps we are going through this so that we can learn how to live with less and how to maintain our faith and JOY despite of our external circumstances. Someone reminded me of Job recently. What we are experiencing is a JOKE compared to that. Compared to Job and how HE reacted to what HE experienced I have been reduced into a sniveling clot of whimpering whining. The ouch factor on that is pretty severe but sometimes we need to be yanked out of our pity parties aye?

I am hopeful that out of the whining, wailing and knashing of teeth that I will learn what I am supposed to learn and that I will be able to share what I am learning in such a way as to impact the lives of others and produce spiritual fruit and life and restoration in the way that God would have me to.

Blessings to you our friends. May God bless you and keep you as you walk out your walk of faith this day and week.

In His service
James Moffitt

A friend and co laborer in Christ wrote the following thoughts and questions and I was inspired to write my thoughts below.

I look around me, being me, and I ask, "Why Lord!" And I also ask, "How, Lord! ... How can we do what you've called us to do! ... What you've called me to do!"


I think that one of our problems is that we get so caught up in all of the tiny details of our lives and all our problems and circumstances. Doing this causes us to have tunnel vision and we fail to see the big picture.

God is not finished working on us yet and while He does not expect us to be perfect like Himself He does expect us to work towards an attitude and lifestyle of holiness, spiritual humility and contrition. The process of holiness and being made completely unto His image lasts a life time and sometimes when we see our human fragilities and we become critical of our failures and think to ourselves that we are failures. The liar and deceiver of our souls are always ready to show us our imperfections and tendencies to have wicked and evil thought lives.

What separates us from the love of Christ? The bible says that NOTHING can separate us from His love. His love is perfect, his love is eternal, and his grace is for you and me. Nevertheless we get so caught in our own mental and spiritual and emotional traps that we forget whom we are and whom we belong to. We are then ensnared by our own emotional, spiritual and sometimes physical chains of bondage.

If you take a Christian and put him or her next to an unbeliever what would you say makes us different? What is supposed to make us different? The only thing that separates us from the chaff is that we are saved by Grace and the Holy Spirit of God resides in our hearts. Do we really think that our holiness is purely driven by our own self constraint and self control? No, our ability to be holy because He is Holy is because of His power and mercy and grace that resides within us and shines forth like the noonday sun. The more we die to ourselves and the more we release control of our lives to the Holy Spirit the more HE can change our lives from the inside out and the more we can radiate the love of Christ and the mercy of God to those who are around us.

If we are not radiating the love and mercy and truth of God to others in our communities it is because there is something keeping that from happening. What is keeping the love of God from being radiated from our lives to those that are around us? Are we walking the walk consistently or are we talking the talk? Does our faith walk shine forth with a life full of confidence and integrity or do we compromise our faith when we think it is convenient or profitable to do so?

When will we get beyond the works mentality? We think that if we attend church religiously every time the church doors are open that we have satisfied some sort of requirement. We carry our bibles and note pads to the pews and take notes. We smile and say nice things to people around us and appear to be the people we are supposed to be. Inside we are sick and dying because of all the infirmities and hidden skeletons in our closed up closets. How can we as the living church of God reach our communities when we ourselves need intensive care? Evil will always reside in this fallen world and there will not be peace on earth as long as our enemy is allowed to wander this earth. God's people however can and shall make the difference in the lives of those who are lost and dying and headed to hell. We are the ONLY JESUS that some people will ever see. We have the truth in our hearts because we have been given the truth. We must tell people around us what the bible says about Gods love and His desire to set them free from the bondages of sin and death. We can not do that effectively if we appear to be just as sick and in bondage as the next person. Can we?

We need to figure out how to get past the quest for more and more knowledge and information and get to the point where we can live what we know.
When we can figure out how to encourage one another, love one another, rebuke one another, speak truth into one another's lives then we will be able to have restoration, healing and integrity in our own lives.

I would love to talk about some "real" stuff that keeps us prisoners to sin and defeat. How can we put our faith into action and make a "real" difference?

God loves you so much that He made the ultimate sacrifice. Today He stands ready with open arms to heal us and restore us and give us the power we need to live and lead in a fallen world.

In His Name
James Moffitt

Lets review for a moment on all of the "stuff" that has to be reloaded on your computer "after" you rip out the motherboard and install a new one. Nah, lets skip that list. You would be asleep in no time. I will tell you that I just reinstalled w.blogger that is the windows based tool that allows me to post to my Web Log (blogger) when I get the urge to do so. I guess this means that I have the urge to do so since you are reading this.

Winter bowling leagues are coming to an end. Friday nights are over and Tuesday night league just ended. That means that I can fill those nights with other more important tasks. Dont get me wrong, I love to bowl but too much of a good thing can become a drag. Bowling on four leagues was just a bit too much. This summer I will bowl on Monday night and I think that will be about all. I have a Sunday night league that starts at 8pm that will be ending in the next 2 weeks and then that will be over. We won 3rd place on our Tuesday night spare timers league and I gathered up three patches and one pin for bowling over 200 on several occasions. Now I need a bowling shirt to put those on.

I have two books that I want to read in the month of May and June if I can manage to prioritize my life to do so. The Purpose Driven Life and the Purpose Driven Church by Rick Warren. Let me give you a glimpse of what the Purpose Driven Life has to offer and how it is changing my life in a positive way. Here is a quote by George Bernard Shaw that just dinged me between the eyes.

"This is the true joy of life: the being used up for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; being a force of nature instead of a feverish , selfish little clot of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy"


Can you say ouch and double ouch? I have a red spot between my eyeballs when that sucker slammed head first into my noggin. I am continually reminded that life is just not fair and bad things happen to good people. Good things happen to bad people. Imagine that for a moment? My life perspective is my life perspective so humor me as I go down this road for a second. My perspective is that life has certainly had its fair share of negatives since June of 2000. Between June of 2000 and today I have been in survival mode. I have been enduring life and responding to the circumstances and consequences of things. Doing this has put me in a pretty foul mood to the point of affecting my health , my family and my friends.
Gosh, did I forget to put the most important thing in my life here? More importantly my relationship with God has been affected too.

People that know me and are privy to all of the events that have unfolded since June of 2000 would tell you that we handled our situation very well and that we did not allow our situation to destroy our faith in God. All I can say is that if we did glorify God through all of this mess then I have to give the praise and honor and glory back to God because it was nothing that we did. God brings glory to himself through his children sometimes without them being aware of it and through His divine will and intervention. God also brings glory to himself through a life of brokeness and obedience to His word. There were times when I screamed at God and got angry. Lets just say that God does have a sense of humor and I am happy that I am still alive to write this.

Loosing my job in Feburary has set into motion a chain of events that have ADDED to the stress levels at the Moffitt house. Remember that I said earlier that bad things happen to good people. Loosing my job which was our ONLY source of income to pay bills was a BAD thing. I also have to say that my responses at times to this stress has not necessarily given any glory to God either. I responded to the stress by withdrawing into myself and lashing out at other people who care about me. I responded by trying to do things like bowling that made me happy. The problem with trying to bury bad things and unfortunate circumstances with things that make you happy is that happiness is circumstantial and it only lasts for a brief period of time. When the event is over that makes you happy you find yourself face to face with the problems again.

Survival mode has lasted for long enough. Out with the OLD mindset and in with the new. Instead of being a survivalist in a fallen world and being tossed too and fro through the whirlwinds of emotional chaos I am going to choose to realign my life with the purposes that God has for me and my family. I am going to choose to redefine the things that make me happy and rediscover the Hope that is within me. Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God. The only way that I can cling on to hope is to immerse myself in faith building activities such as prayer, reading the word of God and other resources that will give me what I need for restoration. Does that mean that I will no longer have problems? No, it means that I am going to do what I can to let God redefine how I am going to react to these problems. Is the glass half full or half empty? Will good come out of bad or not? Will I approach life with a positive , humble and contrite spirit or will I try to tackle everything by myself and put my faith and hope in my ability to provide for my family?

I need to learn how to be who God wants me to be despite how others respond to me. In the past I have tried to develop relationships with others and when they did not respond in the correct way I either found fault in them or I would withdraw into myself and blame myself for some type of fault that was keeping people from responding. If people do not respond like I expect them or want them to then I will not be myself anymore. I will just become an introvert and stop reaching out to people. The only problem with that is my attitude towards people and I am short circuiting who I am in Christ because of those attitudes.

I can not let how others respond or not respond define who I am.
I must not continue to keep my eyes on people because as long as I do I will be disappointed. No one is perfect, not one. I must keep my eyes and mind focused on Christ. I need to allow people to be who they are and let the Holy Spirit be the one to convict them of whatever problems they might have within the dimensions of his authority and timing. Only the Holy Spirit can convict people of sin and change them. I can not and should not try to be anyone's Holy Spirit.

If you are reading this and you are not a Christian then you probably do not understand what I am talking about. I would imagine that you probably have not even gotten this far in my writings today. You probably have zipped through some of this and just gone on to other things. For those of you that are my friends and who follow my babbling from time to time I hope that my being brutally honest and real does not scare you away. I hope that my being real will not only be therapeutic to me as an individual but that it in turn will encourage you to know that you are not the only one that struggles with spiritual turmoil. The only way that we can grow in grace is by being real with God and with one another and to encourage one another to reach out to God with a spirit of repentance and humility so that God can restore us into a right relationship with Him and with one another. God is in the restoration business and He is not done with me yet !

May 15th 2003 is upon us. Actually, the day is almost half gone. What have I accomplished? Does mowing the backyard and returning consignment computer equipment to my distributer count?
What have you accomplished today?

Recently I upgraded my Gateway PIII 866 mhz workstation to a 1.1 gigglehertz motherboard and 640 mb of ram. Can you say ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM??

How many people who are supposed computer geeks told me that I would never be able to upgrade my Gateway because it was too proprietary? More of them than not. My Gateway is housed in a typical ATX motherboard with a 300 watt power supply. It was a simple as out with the old and in with the new. The only problem we ran into was with the case and the front USB cabling. To get around the proprietary wiring scheme we just put a USB card into an empty pci slot in the back and now I have four USB ports just like before. The only change is that they are all in the back instead of two in front. No big deal.

I LOVE how fast this new machine is. It boots up 3x as fast and the applications are much zippier. Wahoooo!

When was the last time you ran live update on your Anti Virus software running on your computer? This serves as a reminder to you if you have not. There is a new trojan horse virus on the loose and it could come visiting if you use Kazaa or ICQ.

We spent the last couple of days looking at "cheaper" accomodations. Oh my gosh. The places that I found for 200.00 or 300.00 less than what we are paying are not fit for a dog to live in. Do I live in a mansion now and do I have a pride problem going on here? Absolutely not. I can garuntee you that these places are fully qualified rat traps complete with broken windows, tons of rust and lots of missing pieces. One trailer park owner assured us that he intends to renovate. I told Katy and the kids that the only renovation option left to this guy is to drop a nuclear device in the middle and start over after the radiation kills off all of the garbage that is there now.

Living out of our cars and being homeless are just not an option as you can imagine. I spoke with my landlord today and he told me he would be willing to reduce our rent to 600.00 per month and as long as we paid that amount anytime during that month that he would allow us to remain. Once we find gainful employment and are back on our feet then he will raise the rent back to 750.00. That is the BEST offer that I have gotten to this date. I told him that I certainly appreciated his willingness to help us and that we would be more than able to accomplish this task with what we are receiving in unemployment.

If the cell phones have to be turned off then so be it. If cable has to go then so be it. We will have to do what we have to do to make sure we have a roof over our heads while we are looking for gainful employment. After driving around for the last two days looking at rat traps and the accomodations that others have to live in I feel SUPER blessed and we are MORE than motivated to do what we need to do to stay where we are.

This evening Katy got a call from the manager at a Chucky Cheese. They have several openings and Katy has an interview at 2:30pm on Monday. We got a big kick out of the fact that they have an opening for one of the characters. That would certainly be appropriate for me since I can be a character at times.

On two seperate occasions today I was reminded of the loss of our Jessica and how painful it still is. It seems as if the emotions are right under the surface only to be awakened by the right stimulus. Today I watched a movie and a TV show where a loved one was lost. This rekindled my feelings of loss and that loss is still painful. The pain is just as real today as it was on August 5, 2001 as I watched the funeral home director remove my daughters lifeless body from our home on 159 Mapleridge Dr in Goose Creek SC.

It is still so hard to believe that we will not see our Jessica again this side of eternity. It is still so hard to believe how cancer changed our little girl right before our eyes. I was reminded that I need to light a candle for my "sunshine angel". I had not done that in a very long time. I guess the act of lighting a candle helped me in some way but it also reminded me of the truth of what has happened. Our lives will never be the same and even though Jessica is gone she will always be in our hearts, souls and minds.

We love you Jessica Ann Moffitt , You are our Sunshine!!

To move or not to move, that is the question. Today is April 4 and I am still under employed and over appreciated. How in the world did we get to this point? The economy apparently sucks in the Upstate and we are so happy that we moved here. NOT!!!

We have come to the conclusion that staying at 4 Broken Past Ct is not financially feasible since we do not have the income to support the rent payment. We need to drastically reduce our expenses and the biggie is the rent. Luckily for me the ex wife is being flexible with regards to child support but that cant slide forever. I need a job and I need it now. Katy and I both are looking for work and thus far there is nothing. Katy might be able to find something sooner than me since she has a degree. I would have never thought it would have taken this long for us to find employment.

Katy got up at 5 am and went to Walmart to pick up some boxes. We are surrounded in cardboard boxes now. Wahooooo! Now we have something to occupy our time. Filling boxes with our belongings. We may have to have a moving sale so that we can get rid of some of our stuff. Depending on where we move to we might not have enough room for all of this stuff. The last thing I want to do is sell what we have. In August of 1997 we sold everthing that we owned and put the rest in two vehicles and moved to Douglasville Ga. That was a mistake then and it is a huge mistake now. When you are in survival mode you do what you have to do I suppose. Survival mode on.....

The important thing is that we have one another. We will survive this. We always have and always will. This too shall pass. We just need to suck it up and do what we have to do to survive. One day at a time sweet Jesus, that is all we are asking from you. Just give us the way to do every day what I have to do. Yesterday is gone sweet Jesus and tomorrow may never be mine.... Familiar words that we have sung over and over through the years but singing is much easier than doing at this point.

Ok, now to look beyond our family and the immediate needs. The biggest thing that seems to be going on now is the war with Iraq. We are on day 15 now. By now I would imagine that our troops are in Baghdad going from house to house and building to building engaging in urban warfare to root out Saddam Hussein's elite guard. It appears that the best that the Iraqi goverment can come up with is sneak suicide attacks in the form of suicide bombers. Several cars have blown up at check points killing everyone inside including coalition troops. Those are the acts of terrorists and not a military response to our invasion. How sad that is.

On the church front it seems that we have found a church that we like and it is called Marathon Community Church. You can visit the church web site at http://www.marathonchurch.org We love the praise and worship, drama team and teaching. This church is following the "purpose driven church" model which is modeled after the church in California called Saddleback church. April 6th has a membership class 101 from 3pm until 5pm and I think that we are going to attend if we can.

It has been FOREVER since I have drivled in here. How long is forever? Maybe I should say it has been a LONG time since I have said anything of worth in here. Perhaps today is the day that I speak up.

I am waiting for breakfast to arrive from Katy's kitchen and for Actifed to kick in to stop the raging allergy symptoms that have taken over this morning. I made the mistake of preparing to mow the yard and all the alergins known to man took over my sinuses. Whew, it was ugly.

It appears that operation Iraqi Freedom is in full affect as Allied forces are approaching the Iraq capital of Bagdad. Some say that this war will cause the economy to flourish and that the jobless folks like me will soon be employed again. Does it really take a war to make the economy flourish? How does that work? We use more bombs, we run out of bombs, we need more bombs, can you make us more bombs and therefore I go to work at a bomb factory even though I do not know squat about how to make a bomb? Hummmmm..... I can see where there would be more need for items that are used in a battlefield. I am not sure if that will create more technology jobs though.

I am on week 8 of unemployment or day 49 with no income other than the paltry 278.00 from SEC. Dont get me wrong, I am appreciative of the fact that we do have unemployment benefits since neither one of us is working. I thought that Katy's degree would help her to find even menial work like at Walmart but apparently there is a huge supply and demand problem. There are jobs but there are hundreds of applications being turned in for one job. I bet the employers love the applicant pool but they probably hate the process of figuring out who to hire and who to toss.

I have two contracts that recruiters have submitted me for. One is for a contractor positon in Washington DC and one is for a contractor in downtown Greenville. If this were a perfect world I would pick door number two. I would LOVE to find employment here locally. Push comes to shove I will go to Washington if I have to.

Thanks to Ebay I am making some suplimental income doing auctions. How sick of Ebay can a person get? On a scale of one to ten I am almost to an 8 with regards to how sick I am. Luckily for me I have a WONDERFUL wife that is willing to kick in some extra effort when I could care less about the whole thing. Thank you Jesus for Katy. :)

Ok, food almost here and I am famished. Talk to you later!

I am on forced vacation starting today thanks to my contract at Ahold ending without a whole lot of warning. I saw the writing on the wall and knew that it was coming but I was hoping that the contract would atleast last until April of 2003. No such luck boys and girls. Now I am back out on the Internet slinging my resume at every job board that can be found. Luckily for me I saw the writing on the wall in November of 2002 and started the madness then. The IT industry basically sucks for now. There are jobs out there to be had but the pay is way down and the employers want certifications and experience out the wazooo. This is an employers market now and they can pick and choose from a wealth of candidates.

I figure that we have about 2 weeks before I need to push the panic button and just take anything I can put my hands on. Katy and I know that if push comes to shove the kids go to public school and she goes back to work. Going back to work for Katy will be tough because she has not had to work outside the home for a long time. The awesome thing is that we are a family and we are committed to doing whatever it takes to survive. Surviving means lights, telephone, rent and food. That does not mean high speed Internet, cable tv or cellular service. All of that is extra stuff that we certainly do not need to survive. Will we miss those things? Yes, those things will be missed but we can learn to do without if need be.

If you think about it life would be so much less complicated without a lot of the things that I just mentioned. I am praying that God will provide and that I wont have to give up our wants or desires. The trick is to have faith and be patient and wait on Gods timing for all of this to come together. I am writing this sort of as a journal so that I can look back and praise God for meeting our needs once again.

While I am on forced vacation I will have the opportunity to hang out with the family and do family things such as bowling practice with the children today. Kristina and Justin are both on a youth bowling league where they are learning how to bowl. We had a blast today and I am thankful for the time to spend with my family. That means more to me than any amount of money that I might be able to put my hands on.
Our children are our investment that we are sending out into the future.

This is a picture of our front yard in January 2003 after the snow storm. We got 4 inches that day.








This is Justin Matthew Moffitt in the front yard of our house in Simpsonville.

Neat stuff, yes it is.....

First we lost the Challenger in 1986 and today we lost Columbia. At approximately 8 am CST NASA in Houston Texas lost telemetry data with Columbia and soon after that they lost audio contact with the astronauts. Debis from the space shuttle wound up scattered across the state of Texas and into Louisiana. We lost another 7 people to the space program. This is a sad day indeed.

Yesterday I lost my job at Ahold USA and once again I am seeking full time employment either as a contractor or a full time employee.
I have two recruiters that want to talk to me next week because I have been putting my resume on job search boards since November of 2002 when Ahold USA laid off 32 full time employees.

We are on the brink of war with Iraq as our military is gearing up for a major offensive half way across the world. Stay tuned, more to follow...